Mongrel Thoughts

How he seems so unashamed, so "in his skin," moving with a tall head of grace

I never got lost. For some reason, I'm more at home everywhere than at one place. I belong everywhere and nowhere. I'm kin to everyone, and no one in particular.

And once you get into the habit of not needing anyone, it's kind of hard to break.

So I decided I'll think of myself as some kind of a social world citizen. and then I feel.... I need everyone! I love people. I want to meet them all! I just think there are too many out there saying "This is mine." or "She's mine." Too many lines have been drawn. The World is breaking apart because of man's weakness for some testosterone conquests over territory and power and people. I want control over what deep down I know I have no control over whatsoever and it scares me.

Everyone seems to be hypnotized in this country. I guess you think I'm just some poor displaced soul doomed to roam the earth without a mean for a soul.

An ashtray filled with cigarette butts as I anxiously lights another.

You won't be made to feel! Period. You're mongrel and you're phony!

"I'LL close my eyes... and I'LL see you standing there..." - HYPNOGOGIC

The house is asleep and dark except for the rims of gray shades from the moonlight, hair wind blown, with a serene expression, sublet and sad. Wearing a rugged demin with a slit on his hand carving memorys of down town.

Don't be surprised to find your not changed an iota. you hardly ever spoke

I suppose this coming into life was, in many ways, prepared for weeks, maybe even months before.There was a restlessness feeling. Out of the blue and for no apparent reason. There's nothing more frightening to be settled than to suddenly feel unsettled. I don't know when it started ... I do remember one night in particular, a little over a week before she arrived..."

It was late at night after a long day. tired -- fighting all night with the bruised thoughts I could hardly sleep more than two hours a night. I was reading some lines skimming the words, turning the pages without absorbing what I was reading. My mind was far away. And no matter how I tried, I couldn't call it back."

I seat myself in a couch flicking on a reading lamp and open a book. Flicking the ON/OFF switch as the mind wanders.

Walked through the dining room, passing a closet filled with empty dishes and broken glasses. I stop. Shoved in the corner behind is an old, un-opened bottle of Whisky aged with dust. remove up, setting atop the sink to open it. But when I catche a reflection of self in the window opposite, I stop. I see a lonely, frustrated old man in a tattered blue denim anxious to open a bottle of liquor to deflated self in the milds of the wind

There isn't a soul for miles. I turns off the porch light, with a brave and daring impulse, I stand under the naked sky. The air feels good against the body with open arms, up against the night sky and moon like a hypnic jerk